Cellphone Scandals
by Irrelevancy
Summary: Secrets at school. Rumors through texting. What more can I say? Somewhat Hiroki-centric. Chapter 11 up!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Cellphone scandals**

**Happens a lot in school**

**After a few secret texts during class**

**I came up with this idea~~**

**But I've been surprised**

**Just because Hiroki has a good arm at throwing chalk and books**

**Doesn't necessarily mean that he's unpopular**

**I mean, his total hotness makes up for that**

**no?  
**

* * *

_Minami: Ne… do u think the professor has a lover?_

_Rumiko: Miyagi or Kamijou?_

_Minami: Kamijou of course_

_Rumiko: What do u mean of course?_

_Minami: Well… Miyagi seems to old 4 dating… more like he's married._

_Rumiko: Hm… Kamijou's pretty good looking…_

_Minami: Rite?!_

_Rumiko: Hm… *smirk*_

_Minami: Shut up! But serious!_

_Rumiko: Shizuka and Yukino were also wondering_

_Minami: And…? I don't hang out with them_

_Rumiko: U know Yuki. She has a huge crush on 'im_

_Minami: So she says he's single?_

_Rumiko: Hm… yeah_

_Minami: Why the long pause?_

_Rumiko: Sorry. Miyagi was looking_

_Minami: Ah… What about Shizuka?_

_Rumiko: Taken_

_Minami: …Miyagi seems to look around a lot_

_Rumiko: Yeah. U wouldn't believe it_

_Minami: *sigh* Would Miyagi know if he's single or not?_

_Rumiko: Want me to ask him? xD_

_Minami: Shut up! I mean… there's a rumor those 2 r 2gether_

_Rumiko: …WAT?!_

_Minami: o.e Y? U didn't no?_

_Rumiko: Hang on…_

"WHAT?!" Miyagi's outburst startled everyone in his class. Class work has long since ceased when the professor took over Rumiko's "secret" texting. It was a surprise when Miyagi hadn't confiscated the phone, but instead resume texting with whomever was on the other end. The only noise that was in the classroom was the phone's muted beeps and Miyagi's occasional chuckles, then his question, "What about Shizuka?"

But the exclaim followed soon after.

_Rumiko: Hey, wat class r u in? Kamijou's, rite?_

_Minami: 0.o Um… yeah…?_

Hiroki was halfway through chucking the piece of chalk at a student when the professor burst into the classroom, a girl blushing, standing behind him.

"Eh… kyoju… what-"

"Kamijou. Minami wa dare?" Miyagi cut in, standing in front of him with a few large strides. The girl lingered at the doorway, glancing at the hall numerous times, as if contemplating an escape.

"Minami…?" However puzzled, Hiroki answered the question. "You mean… Asakura?" His glance trailed up at the nervous looking brunette sitting on the third row of the left column.

Hiroki opened his mouth to ask, but then Miyagi had snatched the piece of chalk out of his hand. He could only stare wide-eyed when the chalk flew through the air and smack "Minami" right on the forehead. The girl outside jumped, then froze where she stood, understanding exactly how good the professor's aim was.

"There is no way in hell, you got that?"

Those were Miyagi's last words before he walked out the door, leaving behind a puzzled Hiroki, a blushing Minami, and the rest of the room full of surprised students at both their professor's aim.

* * *

**A/N: So... how was that?**

**It's not my best piece ever**

**But well, it'll suffice**

**Practice makes perfect, no?**

**Next chapter...**

**Picture~**

**xDDD**

**Keep reading if ur interested!!**

**Please R&R~!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ah~ The second chappy~**

**Again with the textings**

**Running out of rumor ideas**

**Suggestions please~?**

* * *

_Natsu: Omigod. Get this._

_(Sends picture)_

_Yukimi: OH MY EFFING GOD. Is that KAMIJOU?!_

_Natsu: xD Right?!_

_Yukimi: But that's… that's a…_

_Natsu: BASKETBALL. Omigod and he made it too. 3 pointer, swish!_

_Yukimi: But he's… he's like…_

_Natsu: SHIRTLESS. I KNO_

_Yukimi: But when did it happen?!?!? TELL EVERYTHING_

_Natsu: Well, we're in gym rite now. Because of the school festival Miyagi dragged Kamijou 2 help. Then Miyagi was drinking coffee. When Kamijou was backin up from him he knocks it over on2 his shirt. When he's about 2 go out 2 change the door was locked from the outside. So he just takes it off & throws it into the drinking fountain & scrubbing it like crazy, muttering something about the 5th shirt already._

_Yukimi: That doesn't explain the basketball!! Heck, I didn't even know he did sports!_

_Natsu: I kno rite?! Well, when grlz were like OMG the guyz were pissed & Tsuyoshi said to Akemi I bet he can't do any sport. Miyagi hears & steals the ball & gives it to Kamijou & says if he doesn't make it he's fired. Kamijou goes AWOL but shoots. Voila! He makes it!_

_Yukimi: OMG~ So it just happened?_

_Natsu: Yup!_

_Yukimi: I gotta tell!!! Did u take the pic?!_

_Natsu: LOL. That's the funny part!!! It was MIYAGI who took it!_

_Yukimi: xDDD Wow!_

"Misaki! Your cell phone's beeping!" Usami called to his lover, who was currently busy saving a neglected pan full of stir fry from a charred doom.

"Can you answer it for me and tell them to call in 5 minutes?!"

"Sure." Wanting to shut the annoying tone up Usami flipped open the cell, only to find it was a text message. Well, to be specific, a picture message.

"What…?" the author murmured to himself as he registered what the picture was. It was who was in it that caught his eyes; the familiar brown hair and lithe body.

"Who was it?" Misaki asked from next to Usami, having finally tamed the fire and dumped the contents of the sizzling pan onto a ceramic plate.

"Hiroki…" was the only answer.

Confused, Misaki snatched the phone away, only to stare at the contents on the screen with the same confusion, then shock that had overcame the older man's face.

"Whoa, what?! Kyoju plays basketball?!"

Then he read the text underneath.

"So that was Hiroki?" Usami said, grabbing the phone back and quickly forwarding the message to 2 senders.

Upstairs on the drawer by his bed, Usami's phone vibrated.

Some odd blocks away, Hiroki's phone, which laid on the kitchen table, vibrated, alerting the occupant of its existence.

--

"Hiro-san! Your phone's-" Nowaki started to call, but then remembered his Hiro-san was in the shower. Understandably curious, Nowaki knew, that despite his little knowledge on the matters of cellular phones, that only one single push of the button was needed to see something very interesting.

Of course it's going to be interesting. After all, who in their right minds would send _Kamijou Hiroki_, of all people, a text message of utter nonsense? They'd be lucky if they saw daybreak.

Like The Hand from The Adams Family, Nowaki's seems to have a mind of its own. The man had seemingly absolutely no control over it as it crept across the polished table, fingers leading, knuckles following.

_It's alright. It's just a text message. Hiro-san wouldn't get too mad at it._

But no matter how much amount of comfort Nowaki gave himself, it never would've prepared him for THAT picture.

Seconds tick by.

Tick.

Tock.

Then...

"NOWAKI! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!"

* * *

**A/N: Yup~**

**And that concludes the second chapter~**

**xD**

**nya~**

**sneaking on**

**and computer's breaking down**

**So...**

**won't be uploading much for a while**

***sigh***

**Make me feel beta by reviewing~?**

**Pweety Please~?**

**Just copy 'n' paste if you want:**

**"I'm copy and pasting because i have absolutely no time to type a decent comment, but am kind-hearted enough to leave a comment for an exhausted writer who provided yours truely with such and awesome chapter. Thank you."**

**xDD**

**Good luck with that~  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: OMG I am stunned at the amount of reviews..!**

**Sorry 4 not replying to each of 'em**

**'cause well, time is... gone and rare these days**

**Sneaking, and don't wanna get caught**

**Didn't wanna disappoint readers, so I updated**

**I'll explain more at the bottom~~**

**Ahem!**

**This ficcy, for Sofya~**

**Even though she probably won't read it...**

**xD  
**

* * *

_Sofya: Life is bleak. Dead. Curses._

_Midori: …what?_

_Sofya: Do you realize how horrible things are looking for us girls?_

_Midori: How so?_

_Sofya: Well you see… Hm… how should I put this…?_

_Midori: Tell me O Great One of Various Philosophies_

_Sofya: Then I shall grasshoppa…_

_Midori: Gettin pompous with your Japanese, huh, foreigner?_

_Sofya: Fine. Be that way._

_Midori: …So are you gonna tell me?_

_Sofya: Right… Okay, simply put, All Hot Guys Are Gay_

_Midori: What? That's not true…_

_Sofya: Look at the people in our school. Just look at 'em._

_Midori: They're not gay._

_Sofya: Okay, name the good looking guys and I'll tell you._

_Midori: Fine. Kamui._

_Sofya: Fuuma. Gotta do beta than that, dearie._

_Midori: -.- uh… Shigeru_

_Sofya: Azuma_

_Midori: Hah. You had to think there._

_Sofya: Moving on_

_Midori: Shinichi_

_Sofya: Hattori_

_Midori: Hatori_

_Sofya: Meh. One of those other guys._

_Midori: You mean Shigure and Ayame?_

_Sofya: Nah, Shigure's with that Akito dude_

_Midori: Ah, right._

_Sofya: I'll say the obvious ones that I bet even you know. Flourite._

_Midori: Which one…?_

_Sofya: My point exactly. Both._

_Midori: You-ou and Ashura_

_Sofya: Yeah, that's it. Keep going. Sora._

_Midori: So cliché, with the whole sky and earth thing. Riku._

_Sofya: xD Agreed. Leon_

_Midori: He goes with both of those, no? Cloud and that Sephi-dude…?_

_Sofya: Sephiroth is one of the hottest guys in the whole school. Fangirlz of his hear ur talk u'll be demoted 2 the deepest levels of social hell._

_Midori: Thanks. No pressure, right?_

_Sofya: No pressure. Back to subject._

_Midori: Touya_

_Sofya: I'd ask which one, but knowing u, it's Kinomoto_

_Midori: Yeah. Wait. Don't tell me. Tsukishiro_

_Sofya: Bingo. And FYI the other Touya's with Shindo_

_Midori: Akira and Hikaru? Yet another cliché_

_Sofya: It's like predestined, no?_

_Midori: Hm… KK_

_Sofya: LR_

_Midori: Gon_

_Sofya: Killua_

_Midori: Seiji_

_Sofya: Hiroto. Honestly! Come up with something more challenging!_

_Midori: Fine. Tezuka._

_Sofya: Fuji_

_Midori: Last time you claimed Fuji with Kikumaru_

_Sofya: That works too._

_Midori: So you just shove him aside for Tezuka?_

_Sofya: No… he can go to Oishi, no?_

_Midori: …hm… Fine then. Kazuki._

_Sofya: Amemiya?! If he's who u mean then u have very poor taste in men…_

_Midori: Like hell Amemiya. Hihara!_

_Sofya: Ah. Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky huh…?_

_Midori: Ponder and fail, my friend._

_Sofya: Yunoki. Hah!_

_Midori: Nuh uh!_

_Sofya: Yeah! It works! Or what do u want me to say? Tsuchiura?_

_Midori: The 1 that I think of with Tsuchiura is um… yeah_

_Sofya: Tsukimori, no doubt._

_Midori: Why of course._

_Sofya: Focus! Just to prove my point, you can blast me with teachers._

_Midori: Alrighty. Hughes._

_Sofya: Duh. Mustang._

_Midori: Thought Mustang's with Ed_

_Sofya: Also thought he was with Al and Havoc and Riza and-_

_Midori: I GET UR POINT_

_Sofya: Hey, just saying. M's kinda a man-whore_

_Midori: As hot as he is he's got a right, no?_

_Sofya: Hm… prefers Elric_

_Midori: If u meant Al, Ed's gonna kill you. If you meant Ed, Al and Mustang and possibly Havoc are gonna kill you_

_Sofya: Ah. 3-way homicide_

_Midori: Makes me question you… Fine then. Kazuya_

_Sofya: Who?_

_Midori: Jou. I'll come back to the teachers lata_

_Sofya: Alright… U should know this_

_Midori: Ah, the infamous CEO_

_Sofya: …That's not that Phantomhive kid, who by the way is totally hot_

_Midori: Well, hot's not the word I'd use… More like…_

_Sofya: …Exotic?_

_Midori: Bingo. Well speaking of CEO's, how about the infamous Imonoyama-kun?_

_Sofya: He's not "hot" as we'd like to put it. He's more of the rare, handsome aspect_

_Midori: So who's the hot- Oh wait, let me guess. Takamura._

_Sofya: -sama. Ur familiar with him, aren't u?_

_Midori: Well, he is in my classes…_

_Sofya: Well, u should c the ppl fawning over 'im. Takamura-sama!!_

_Midori: So who's Takamura paired with?_

_Sofya: Uh…_

_Midori: I knew it. Imonoyama, huh? Suoh and Nokoru. Hah.  
_

_Sofya: Well, I didn't really wanna say it since it's kinda a loophole in my philosophy_

_Midori: Well, all hot guys are gay, doesn't mean the nones can't be_

_Sofya: True… but it somehow feels betrayal-like_

_Midori: Paranoia. Aha. Teachers. Kamijou._

_Sofya: Ah… I was wondering when you'd get to that._

_Midori: Who, Miyagi?_

_Sofya: Rumors have it that way. But others say it's with another lover. Even Usami Akihiko.  
_

_Midori: The writer Usami?! What?!_

_Sofya: Apparently they're childhood friends_

_Midori: Huh… Proof?_

_Sofya: Well, we all know the molestings of Miyagi_

_Midori: No doubt. Continue_

_Sofya: Usami was seen at the play talking to Kamijou, who introduced him to Miyagi_

_Midori: Ah… And the lover?_

_Sofya: You'd ask Shizuka for details…_

* * *

**A/N: I know the couples aren't really, original...**

**xD**

**If you caught the KK and the LR bit, give urself a Star Burst, which I'm really addicted to~~**

**Kurapika & Leorio**

**Seemed like strange and outstanding names for school students**

**so I shortened it**

**abbreviations that "everyone in school" knows**

**xD**

**I wish**

**The above mentioned r my fav couples**

**and the FMA ones which are Sofya's favs...**

**well, mine, mostly**

**since I'm obsessed with Roy~**

**xD**

**And if u will, all the couples r from other anime/manga, so no original named ones**

**There r lots more, just can't mention 'em all rite now...**

**And sorry for the lack of humor in this**

**This is a more of a prelude, if u caught the Cliffy~~**

**Who's Shizuka~?**

**xD**

**How does she relate to Nowaki~?**

**It was the only way I could get the scene I had in my mind it~**

**nya~**

**xD**

**Since the copy 'n' paste idea was so... popular~ xD**

**"Hooray for the not-exactly-funny-yet-somewhat-enjoyable third chappy! Hooray for the silver lining of every cloud, such as the redo paper stupid Ms. L gave me that came with a free paperclip!"**

**It's alrite if u didn't get that~ I mean, ur not in my class, rite?**

**...rite?  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: The next chappy! OMG!**

***clap clap clap***

***sob sob***

**Thought I'd never see this day...!!**

**Happy readings!**

**And if u care, read my poor excuses on the bottom, where u hopefully will be in a better mood.  
**

* * *

_Shizuka: I've decided!"_

_ Mikan: On what? Ooh! You're going to buy me lunch!_

_ Shizuka: No… No, I've decided I'm going to confess._

_ Mikan: Ooh~! To who~?_

_ Shizuka: Kyoju._

_ Mikan: …Miyagi?_

_ Shizuka: NO! Kamijou-sama!_

_ Mikan: U… like him?_

_ Shizuka: YES! I thought that was clear!_

_ Mikan: Oh… I didn't kno…_

_ Shizuka: Obviously!_

_ Mikan: So how r u gonna confess?_

_ Shizuka: Well…_

_ Mikan: U don't kno?_

_ Shizuka: Of course I know! I'm just gonna ask him outrite…_

_ Mikan: Wat if he rejects u? There's a rumor he has a grlfrnd._

_ Shizuka: I kno. I spread that rumor 2 keep the others away from him. Duh._

_ Mikan: Ah… So r u gonna tell him? When?_

_ Shizuka: Afterschool._

_ Mikan: Where?_

_ Shizuka: In class, of course. I'm gonna stay late, pretend to need help with wk, then ask. Ingenious._

_ Mikan: But wat if he leaves after class?_

_ Shizuka: He doesn't leave until the students go._

_ Mikan: Ok… wat if he rejects u?_

_ Shizuka: He can't._

_ Mikan: Y?_

_ Shizuka: Let's just say… I'll make sure of it._

_ Mikan: Oo~ evil plot~ tell~_

_ Shizuka: Ltr. U pass by the class 2 ur locker, rite?_

_ Mikan: Yeah. Y?_

_ Shizuka: Wait outside the door. When every1 goes out, close the door and lock it._

_ Mikan: Sure. Good luck._

_ Shizuka: No need 4 luck. I'm using my skills…_

Hiroki gathered the papers on his table with a sigh of weariness. Today had been a particularly long day. He had used a whole box of chalks already; a new record. Idiot students. Just don't get the point…

He glanced up to check that every student was out of the class, but saw a pretty brunette standing in front of him, nervously fiddling with her fingers. She snapped into attention when she caught him looking at her.

"What do you want, Ootogi?" Hiroki winced internally at the gruffness of his tone. He didn't mean to sound so annoyed. Ootogi Shizuka had generally been a good student. He had never thrown a chalk at her before. She didn't seem to mind his rough tone though.

"Professor…" she started, eyes keep flitting to the door. "I was wondering if I could clarify some things about the work today…?"

"Sure. What?"

"Um… the worksheet…" She now stopped looking back at Hiroki, and had her gaze fixed on the door. Hiroki sighed.

"Compare a tanka to a haiku, then fill out the organizer," he explained, idly noting he had never really made this clear in class.

"Oh… okay… I'll be leaving no-" She abruptly cut off when her bag dropped to the floor, and papers, pens, and erasers rolled out onto the floor. "Oh no! I'm sorry!"

Hiroki grabbed the stack of papers clipped safely in the binder and stepped out from behind his desk, watching the poor girl grab everything she could reach and hastily stuff them back in her bag. Seriously, how scary does she think he is? With a soft sigh Hiroki bent down to help her.

"Oh! You really don't have to professor!" Hiroki ignored her protests and grabbed the papers on the ground and fixing them into a pile. Meeting her distraught gaze, the professor handed the stack to her.

"School's over Ootogi. Hurry up."

Hiroki stood up and started towards the door, and was nearly there when he heard Shizuka call out to him timidly. Mentally screaming in annoyance, he turned around, only to be… tackled?!

The girl had pounced at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso and slamming him against the door, face buried in his chest.

"O-OI! OOTOGI!" he yelped, face flaming from awkwardness, desperately trying to push her arms off of him without actually hurting her. But the softball team captain kept her hold, and looked up with big and shiny eyes that instantly disgusted the embarrassment out of Hiroki.

"Kyujo! I've liked you for a really long time now!" she gushed, tightening her hold until Hiroki was struggling for breath. "Since the start of last year!"

"Oh… That's… nice…" Hiroki stammered, absolutely dumbfounded. In his schooldays, his surliness and obsession with Usami had kept any girls from ever confessing to him, and kept his attention away from them. This was the first ever time, besides Nowaki, that anyone had ever confessed to him. "But I-I… I don't… I…"

"Please! Kyujo! Go out with me!"

"I-I-I…. can't… I don't… I'm not…" Hiroki desperately searched for the right words. But to his desperation, Shizuka only seemed more encouraged by his loss of words.

"I love you, Hiroki-sama! Onegai! I'm sure that if we go out long enough, you'll find that you love me too!"

Hiroki was now desperately fumbling with the doorknob, trying to force his way out of the situation, then make a run for it, having completely abandoning any chance he had of talking him self out if it. But somehow, it wasn't opening. And Ootogi's face seems to be getting closer… and closer…

"UWA!" With a yelp, the professor fell backwards through the door and into somebody's hands. Shizuka, still wrapped tightly around him, went down with him.

"Hiro-san…?" The teen seemed to freeze at Nowaki's incredulous words, and Hiroki took the chance to pull her arms off him. Then, he glanced back, mouth opened to make sure his lover didn't understand. But there was no doubt or misunderstanding on Nowaki's face, only worry and… a bit of amusement. Apparently, his Hiro-san's frenzied expression explained everything. Instead of being mad, however, Hiroki had a sudden urge to kiss him.

Hiroki looked forward again, and found that Ootogi was trying to sneak away quietly, cheeks aflame. Perhaps it was the stressful day, or the feeling he just had to set things right, but Hiroki knew that if his head was anywhere _near_ clear at that moment, he would never had done something like this.

"Ootogi," he called to her. Shizuka froze, then turned around hesitantly, gaze flitting about, as if wondering if she should make a run for it. Hiroki caught her eye in a meaningful look, then reached up and hooked his arm around Nowaki's neck, pulling himself up to meet his lips.

The simple kiss lasted for a bit, until Nowaki pulled away a bit. "Hiro-san…? She ran away…"

"Yeah…" Hiroki muttered before pulling Nowaki back again, this time letting him deepen the kiss until he was breathless and panting.

"Hey, Hiro-san?" Nowaki said after they started down the halls towards the exit.

"Hm?"

"…You're pretty popular at school, aren't you?"

--

Mikan couldn't believe her luck. After she had locked the door like Shizuka told her to, she had decided to lurk about the corner to see what would happen. After witnessing everything, she had cleared her mind enough to whip out her phone and snapping a quick picture of her professor and his lover in their intimate make-out session. Now, she was busy typing in a quick message and sending it to everyone she knew. And… Sen-

"Spying's not a good habit, Obata-san," said a voice from behind her, making Mikan jump. Her phone would've cluttered onto the floor, if Miyagi had not grabbed it out of her hand just before. He looked at the picture with a raised eyebrow, then around the bend to see the disappearing couple. With a pondering gaze, he pressed a few buttons on the cell, then hesitated with his finger poised above a button. Then he sighed, a small smile flitting across his lips. Mikan watched as he pressed the same button multiple times, then entered two new numbers with a different text, then pressed Send. A couple of presses later, Miyagi returned the phone to her, the trashcan symbol still flashing on the screen.

"Now, we wouldn't want my dear assistant to get fired, now would we…?" he grinned.

--

_Sofya: And that's how it happened._

_Midori: …Wow._

_Sofya: Yeah. Would've paid tens and twenties to see that picture…_

_Midori: Mh hm… What a pity… Wonder who Miyagi sent it to tho…_

_Sofya: Well, Mikan checked it later, and found two numbers._

_Midori: One was Miyagi's, rite?_

_Sofya: Ur sharp. Yup. And the other belonged to some1 else._

_Midori: Who?_

_Sofya: U know Shouko? She knos this guy from another school, and thinks its his number._

_Midori: So who is it?!_

_Sofya: …_

--

Shinobu's cell beeped twice, alerting its owner of the new picture message. Curious as to who would be sending him a message during lunch, he walked to a shadowed corner of the yard and took out his phone.

At first, he couldn't comprehend the picture. It showed two people kissing. Then, he slowly recognized the slighter one to be the assistant professor Miyagi's always harassing. Upon realizing the sender _was_ Miyagi, he almost immediately deleted the picture in frustration. Then he read the message, and a small grin spread across his face. With a few presses, he had the message protected and saved in his inbox, and planned to keep it there forever. Later on, a few friends asked why he was in such a good mood, and he only answered with a grin, quite uncharacteristic to his cool persona. But his fangirls had to admit that this rarely shown side of Shinobu was pretty darn awesome as well, and even followed him a few blocks afterschool. Curiously, he wasn't headed in the same direction, but in the way of the other University across town…

_Shinobu-chin,_

_Told u he's a homo. Now would u PLEASE let me take u to dinner 2nite?_

_Miyagi_

* * *

**A/N: yay~**

**finally got that scene outta my head~**

**Gotta say though, it turned out beta than I thought~**

**Ya see, my muse has been hating me for the last few weeks or so**

**and I couldn't write all that well**

**but hey~ this one turned out good~**

**well... that's for u to decide**

**is it good?**

**Oh, and my excuse?**

**Uh... school...work?**

**Meh. I never do that. It's not decent enough.**

**Weeeeell... I feel too guilty to say it here...**

**if u really do wonder though, it's in my profile**

**I'm trying for an update section~**

**I'll try to be consistent in updating my fics now**

**'specially this one, since u ppl r so nice, and WILL review**

**pretty please~?  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: A super long chappy (for my standards) in repentance for the super long wait!!**

**...I'm sorry?**

**I'd offer you the classic excuse**

**Schoolwork**

**But it happens to be summer**

**And voila, there goes my brilliant excuse**

**So here's repentance**

**Something akin to lime**

**Read on!!  
**

* * *

_Naomi: Yo, check this out!!_

_(Sends picture)_

_Shoko: …3 letters, N._

_Naomi: ?_

_Shoko: Wtf?_

_Naomi: That's the apprciation I get 4 sendin u the biggest fruit in the grapevine? I c how it is, Sho. B that way then._

_Shoko: Quit ur melodrama! Tell wat it is!_

_Naomi: Well, simply put, that's a wrist._

_Shoko: Wrist?_

_Naomi: Wrist._

_Shoko: Ok…?_

_Naomi: Yup._

_Shoko: …_

_Naomi: …_

_Shoko: WHO'S WRIST?!_

_Naomi: Who else? Kyujo's._

_Shoko: …Miyagi?_

_Naomi: …The other 1._

_Shoko: Ok… So y would u send me a pic of Kamijou's wrist?_

_Naomi: 2 insure ur spot as the gossip queen of school._

_Shoko: Out with it already!_

_Naomi: Just try 2 make out the picture, will ya? Try._

_Shoko: …I give up! Wat am I supposed 2 b c ing here?_

_Naomi: Ur thinkin 2 pure. Try thinking dirty._

_Shoko: …I still don't– OMIGOD._

_Naomi: Finally!_

_Shoko: Is that…?_

_Naomi: Yup! Handcuff marks._

_Shoko: Whoa… Handcuffs…?_

_Naomi: Just let the dirty thoughts come, Shoko._

_Shoko: Hoho! Hiro-chan's lover playing it rough~?_

_Naomi: Ooh girl, ur bad!_

_Shoko: I try. Now lesse…_

_Naomi: I'll leave u to ur work now. Cya!_

_Shoko: Ty!_

_Naomi: Np_

--

"Why is it that every time I come in the office you're texting like a teenage girl?" Hiroki snapped, dumping the pile of test papers he had to grade on his desk. Miyagi only laughed and waved off the insult, persisting in annoying Hiroki even more.

"Tell me something, Hiroki," he mused. Said assistant professor scowled and opened his mouth to retort, but was rudely cut off by Miyagi, who obviously meant the statement as something akin to a rhetorical question. "Are you caught up in the university's rumor mill?"

"N-"

"Of course not," the professor breezed, truly meaning his question as a rhetorical one this time. "So you obviously wouldn't know the picture zooming through the cell phone system since this morning."

"What picture?" Hiroki tried to not sound so curious. He truly did. Miyagi didn't even look up when he smirked arrogantly, pressing a combination of buttons on his Blackberry before finally doing so, holding up the phone for his assistant to see.

In Hiroki's defense, he didn't blow up in fury like he usually does and proceed to stomp out at least the top of the handheld device in question until the photo was out of his and everyone else's mind. He only stared at the familiar image in front of him, and proceeded to collapse promptly on the floor.

--

"N-Nowaki…?"

There were some things in the world that Hiroki never expected to see, like a purple armadillo eating pomegranates, or a monkey juggling hairballs coughed up by its kitty girl/boyfriend. A drunk Nowaki was one of them. But, lo and behold, there the scene was. At certain times, it would be quite amusing to see his usually calm and collected boyfriend so disoriented, but a part about the picture before him annoyed the amusement right out of him.

A certain somebody who was supporting Nowaki from under him. A certain somebody Hiroki never wanted to see again.

"Hey, Kamijou-kun…!" Tsumori greeted, lugging Nowaki inside with him, much to the assistant professor's dismay. At the certain senior at the certain hospital a certain boyfriend of his works at, of course.

"Tsumori-san," he greeted for pure politeness's sake. "Uh, if you don't mind me asking…" WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY NOWAKI?! "…What happened to Nowaki?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" God bless whoever the idiot is for talking to Kamijou Hiroki in that condescending tone. "Hospital had a Christmas party, and trainee here got drunk off his ass."

There were several flaws in the excuse. For one, what kind of a Christmas party would be thrown in _the middle of July???_ Second, it was as likely for Nowaki to drink to the point of unconsciousness as Wisconsin is to be flooded with pancakes anytime soon. But honestly? Hiroki couldn't care less. He only wanted to simple things: for Tsumori to get his hands away from his boyfriend, and have said doctor drop off the face of the Earth, preferably into an alternate universe where he could, by all means, proceed to bother someone that is _not_ himself. But seeing he wouldn't be able to achieve the latter simply, he would have to settle for the former. In a sure step, Hiroki was by the couple, hauling Nowaki's mass onto his shoulder, instantly regretting it as it nearly knocked the breath out of him. His irritation was rekindled, however, when Tsumori sniggered when he had to lean on the wall for the first couple of steps. That gave him energy to drag himself and Nowaki into the living room and dump him on the couch _without_ any form of support from any household item. He huffed in satisfaction when he had accomplished the task, but once more, all sense of accomplishment disappeared instantly when he realized Tsumori was in the room with him, holding a large cardboard box by his side.

"Thank you for bringing him home." Get the fuck out, douchebag.

"Why of course. Least I could do for a darling trainee," the doctor grinned, but didn't even _turn around_, for fuck's sake. He obviously didn't plan on leaving. Hiroki was just about to _politely_ ask Tsumori to _politely_ leave before he _politely_ kicked him out of the Milky Way galaxy _politely_, but unfortunately, something obstructed his way.

Or, more precisely, something obstructed his abdomen, thus his windpipe, thus any words that were about to come out of his mouth.

Whether he should be thankful for that, Hiroki didn't know.

"Hiro-san…" a really inebriated Nowaki muttered against the small of his back. Hiroki couldn't help but shiver. It was just one of the many powers the dark-haired man had on him. "Hiro-san…"

"O-oi! Nowaki! Get off me!" he yelped in response, tugging desperately at the familiar arms around him. But it was no use. Nowaki had secured a dead-man's grip around him, and wasn't about to let go against his own wishes.

"Hiro-san, you're so mean to me!"

"Wha-huh?!" Hiroki tried to sound as dignified as possible in the presence of guests, but as one would figure, it was hard to do so with your face mashed up against the sofa, since that's where Nowaki dragged him down to. Perhaps hell would be better, though at this rate of oxygen he was allowed to take in, Hiroki would probably find out pretty soon.

"I've been so busy at work…! And every time I come back, you're always so mean to me…!" Nowaki slurred drunkenly. "It's not fair, Hiro-san! You're so mean to me!"

"Look, Nowaki! I- UWAAAA!" Hiroki was abruptly cut off by the doctor-in-training roughly grabbing a handful of his brunet hair and pulling his head back at a painful angle. He could only just spare enough air to gasp as Nowaki kissed him roughly, pulling both his arms behind his back. Against the larger mass of his boyfriend, Hiroki's struggles were futile. His eardrums pounded with the rush of adrenaline administered by the pain and blood at the mere company of Nowaki so much that he could just hear the box being put on the floor with a _cling_ and Tsumori rushing out the door.

_Wait. Cling…?_

"Nowaki! Stop it!" the brunet shouted when Nowaki finally let go of his hair and dropped him back down unceremoniously. There was a coppery tang of blood on his lips, and that only served to convert Hiroki's anger into fear at his boyfriend's roughness. But he had to admit, some masochistic part of him was slowly getting turned on by the fact of his dominance. Nowaki had always been just a bit forceful in bed, but this was the first time he had been so _much_. "NOWAKI!"

It was then, when he heard the metallic cling of metal against metal (that confirmed the contents of the box), that Kamijou Hiroki learned what true fear really meant.

The cold edges of the handcuffs bit into his wrist as Nowaki tightened them behind his back. He opened his mouth to shout, but was stopped by those large warm hands shoving a ball gag into it. The offending sex toy lived up to its name when Nowaki tightened the strap, gagging Hiroki. He could only struggle vainly as he felt the dark-haired man pull his tie off and disposing it to the side, his white shirt following suit.

"You need to be punished, Hiro-san, for being so mean to me," Nowaki muttered into the nape of his neck while he stripped himself of his shirt. Hiroki's pants followed suit, and soon, the assistant professor was laying in all his naked glory, skin flushed under the scrutinizing eyes of his lover.

Hiroki cranked open an eye when he felt the warmth leave his back, and watched warily as Nowaki prowled towards the box on the ground, pulling out what looked like… Pulling out what looked like a whole lot of leather.

Hiroki was never really brilliant at math, but at that moment, he was sure of a single equation he knew was never, and would never be wrong. Leather Sex Toy + Drunken Nowaki = A Hell Lot of Agony for Hiroki.

And boy was he right.

--

_"Ask me for it…" _came Nowaki's husky voice from the living room. _"Beg me for it…"_

A whimper that sounded horrifically familiar came from the speakers of the TV.

_"Hiro-san… You're so adorable…"_ he moaned, the sound slightly static-y from the poor audio quality. But if Hiroki had peeked into that room, he'd know that the infrared light visual quality was nothing _near_ poor. _"Now ask me… beg me…"_

Two sets of breaths were audible in the entire apartment, and they both came from the DVD. The Nowaki that was viewing said disk was blushing a dark burgundy, desperately telling himself that it was wrong to be so mean to Hiro-san like that and he shouldn't by any ways be excited by it. The Hiroki that was on the other side of the door was flaming a red shades lighter than his lover's, recalling precisely what had happened the night before, dreading what was to come. That snapped him out of his aphrodisiac-like reverie. Quick. Maybe if he acted now, Nowaki wouldn't hear his-

_"…Please…"_

-guttural plea. Oops. Too late.

Hiroki burst through the doorway, promptly tripping over one of his gazillion books and landing face-first into Nowaki's lap, not serving too much good for neither of their growing erections. Time seemed to freeze when the voice over the speakers sounded as clear as day, echoing within each of their minds.

_"…Please, Nowaki…"_

_ "Please what, Hiro-san? What do you want me to do to you?"_

_ "…Fuck me Nowaki… Please!"_

"Hiro-san! Uh, Mi-Miyagi-kyujo said that y-you uh, fainted at school t-today and brought you home!" Nowkai stammered as he reached for the remote, quickly switching off the DVD player. For a brief moment, nothing could be heard in the room besides the subtle hum of the TV set's machinery.

"Nowaki…"

"…Yes?"

"What was that…?"

"Well…" Every single ounce of confidence that might've been stored in him from last night evaporated in the afternoon sun and the threatening growl of his Hiro-san. "Sempai sent it to me… He said before he left… He put a camera in the room… and…"

"And recorded the whole thing?"

Cold dead terror flooded Nowaki at his lover's neutral tone. Somehow, this was even scarier than his growls.

"Hiro-san! I am so sorry! I'll never do that again. I'll never go drinking again! I swear to god. Please, Hiro-san! Forgive me!"

Every muscle in the doctor-trainee's body was rigid when he waited for Hiroki's response. What if he doesn't forgive him? What if he breaks up with him? What if he said he never wanted to see him again? What if he-

Hiroki flipped over, and Nowaki was surprised to see an embarrassed expression on his lover's face. That adorable blush…

"No," Hiroki corrected, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Go ahead, get drunk all you want. Just never, EVER, bring _that_–" Here he pointed to the cardboard box at the corner of the room. "–home ever again, is that clear?!"

Nowaki could only blink in surprised for a couple of seconds as he established what the assistant professor had said. And when he did, a wide grin spread across his face. He bent down with incredible flexibility and lightly pressed his lips against Hiroki's.

"Crystal, Hiro-san, crystal."

* * *

**A/N: Help yourself to a knife and stab me for the damn lack of lemon**

**If you really want to though...**

**I'll gladly comply when I get my muse back**

**Lucky for you, I'm going on a 20-day trip to Taiwan tomorrow**

**While that may sound foreboding, I'll most likely be bored out of my mind there and hence, write a hellova lot**

**Unless Death Note continues to obstruct my way...**

**curse the day it found my weakness and bound me to it with obsession...**

**So yup...**

**My muse...**

**It ran away with my plot bunny near the end**

**Barely made it through the museless hellhole of life**

**Please, review?**

***puppy face***

***rigs chainsaw behind back***

**Review?  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Alright, I know what I said.**

**...Or not.**

**I really am in Taiwan.**

**But due to the extreme amount of grief I've been given, this took a while to upload.**

**I'm an irresponsible jackass, maybe. True that, true that.**

**But heck, hate me all you want. You know u love the story~~**

**x33**

**This is just a prototype for this kind of chapters~**

**Tell me what you think!!**

* * *

"Hiroki-chan!"

Said brunet inwardly groaned at the upbeat giggle, feeling a sudden urge to slam his head against the head of the guitar in his hand. He only managed to place the instrument on its steel stand before long pale arms – there was no other word for this – _glomped_ him.

"Hiroki-chan!" the girl squealed, making Hiroki wince in pain as the high-pitched sound resonated right by his ear. "My daaaarling!"

"You do realize how annoying it is when you drag that out like that, don't you?" said a familiar voice from behind him. Hiroki sighed in relief when he felt the arms retract from around his windpipe. He turned around with a sheepish grin.

"_Thanks, Hide,_" he mouthed, massaging his neck. The (unnatural?) blonde winked a sparkling emerald eye in response. "_I owe you._"

"_Duh._" His expression clearly said. The brunet rolled his eyes, then grinned when Hide started scolding his little sister.

"So, Hiroki!" the blonde grinned as he threw a muscular arm around his friend's shoulder. "What's up?"

"Possibly the remnant vapors of my evaporated attention span at your lecture," Hiroki returned, though with a friendly grin. "Finished already?"

"You know, I've always said you'd become a great professor, brain like yours," Hide said, completely ignoring the semi-insult. "If only you'd get past that extremely short attention span of yours."

"Thank you very much for laying out my future plans for me, Mister I Am the King of All Sports." The brunet rolled his eyes, sliding the manila folder containing his sheet music (self-written) into his drawer. With that he finally turned around. "Answer my ques–"

However, he was cut off by the sudden proximity of his friend. The grin on his face faltered at the coy smirk on Hide's. Or maybe that had something to do with those same muscular arms; one supporting himself on the desk behind him, the other coiled around his waist.

And, for some reason, sliding under his shirt.

"HIDE!" a familiar screech came from somewhere over the blonde's shoulders. The smirk turned into an annoyed scowl. "Stop feeling up MY Hiroki!"

"Your's?" Hide turned with a skeptical look, unfortunately pulling Hiroki along for the ride. So, as all causes have an effect, the brunet ended up being crushed – face first – into Hide's chest as the siblings argued. He sighed after fruitless struggles against arms pulling him closer still. He could just hear over the muffling cloths the blonde's counterargument. "FYI, Hiroki likes me _much_ better than _you_, Ami."

"Hide…!" Hiroki growled through his stuck position, not knowing whether or not his target could hear. "Lemme go…!!"

There was a brief silence following his outburst when Hide finally released the dead man's grasp on the brunet, who could only growl when he blinked innocently and asked just as innocently, "Huh? Did you say something, Hiroki?"

"Dammit, let me go!" With that he pushed his friend away roughly, heavy scowl that could match one of his finest ten years later on his face.

"Now now, Hiroki-chan!" Hide frowned, gluing his hands onto his hips. "That's not really nice. And to think! I'm your best friend!"

Said brunet was about to retort, but was cut off by Ami happily squealing and glomping him once again. "Haha! I knew it! He doesn't like you, Hide! Just accept that!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he likes you all that much either!" the blonde snapped, Hiroki only proving the point when he unstuck Ami's hands from his shoulders. "See?" he crowed triumphantly.

"Gods you two are annoying!" the brunet yelped, throwing his hands into the air. "I'm gonna take a shower, dammit. You two better be gone after that!"

True to his words, Hiroki stalked off to his bathroom, slamming the door so hard he didn't hear Hide yell after him, "Can't! Mom's out of town, so we're sleeping over!" Hence, he couldn't make out the almost too-gleeful tone behind it.

--

_Ami: So… What do u think?_

_Karen: Hey, what can I say? It's brilliant. But remind me again exactly y did u rite a fanfic on the profess?_

_Ami: 'Cause he's hawt, & u no it_

_Karen: Wat can I say 2 that? Ok. But y did u name the annoyin sis after urself?_

_Ami: 'Cause I wanna glomp him so badly!!_

_Karen: …Ok then…_

_Ami: …So?_

_Karen: So wat?_

_Ami: Should I continue or not!!_

_Karen: Sure! By all means!_

_Ami: U don't sound particularly enthusiastic_

_Karen: Careful with the big words, darlin. Mite tire our ur brain._

_Ami: HEY!_

_Karen: Jk_

_Ami: Fine. I'll just NOT continue, then._

_Karen: Suit urself._

_Ami: Fine._

* * *

**A/N: So, in case you didn't understand...**

**Basically, the Ami person texting wrote that fic...**

**It's completely made up (or so she thinks)**

**And she just sent it to her friend, who's asking her to continue it**

**...So, more?**

**Or should I just stop and discontinue the fic?**

***feeling in really low spirits right now***

**...*pouts for good measure***

**Review? Pretty please?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ..Give me a second to think of a proper excuse...**

**Yeah, I know... I'm a horrible person...**

**...For not updating soon, of course.**

**Yeah, that's it. I need to update this... a lot...**

**PERSEVERE. I will attempt to at least post something up here every...**

**...two weeks?**

***_*"**

**Unless I have more ideas....**

**Which is where you, dear readers, come in. Please give me more ideas!!!!**

**Riight. This is a continuation of last chapter.**

**^-^**

**Enjoy~~!  
**

* * *

_Karen: So?_

_ Ami: Eh?_

_ Karen: SO?!_

_ Ami: So… wat?_

_ Karen: SO DID U CONTINUE THE FIC OR NOT!!!_

_ Ami: Ooooooh_

_ Karen: U made me say that!_

_ Ami: ^-^_

_ Karen: Hurry up and show me already!_

_ Ami: Wat makes u think I continued it?_

_ Karen: …U wouldn't._

_ Ami: Ur rite. I wouldn't. Here._

_ Karen: MEANIE!_

_ Ami: U flatter me._

--

Dark eyes gazed around the empty room from under a damp towel. Hiroki sighed in relief when he saw that it did indeed live up to its name. The room _was_ empty.

Or so he thought.

When the arms first came around him again, he acted on instinct learned from his judo, kendo, and karate classes. His hands crossed in front of his chest and reached for the forearms, grabbing on tightly. With a flex of almost-existing biceps and a bend of the waist his assaulter was on the ground before the brunet, arms twisted painfully behind him.

…Or her.

"Oooow!" Ami whined. Hiroki hastily dropped his hold, letting the girl sit up and massage her arms, pouting. "Hiroki…!! What was that for??"

"Sorry," he muttered, picking up the towel he was tousling his hair with where it dropped, draping it around his neck. "Force of habit."

The blonde's quirk of a perfectly groomed eyebrow was spontaneously switched to eyelids at half-mast, a pose like that of a prowling cat, and a flip of apple-scented hair.

"It doesn't matter, Hiroki," she purred, slinking forward on hands and knees, sidling up to the brunet coyly. "Just showered…?"

"Yeah," he answered simply, glancing to the door, dismay obvious on his handsome face. "So your brother's still here too?"

Ami stood up, a bit miffed at his ignorance of her obvious flirting. The pout turned into a sly grin as she curled her hands around Hiroki's arm, pulling herself up towards him, rubbing her breasts up and down, bare skin above the tube top icy as they came into contact with the brunet's. Hiroki instantly flinched away.

"Jesus you're cold!" he yelped, rubbing up and down his forearm. "Put on a coat or something!"

The girl frowned, jumping forward and tackling her victim to the floor so her hands were at his shoulders and her knees straddled his waist. The scowl deepened when she found Hiroki didn't even stare up her mini-skirt from the convenient position, but only looked curiously – albeit disgruntled – into her eyes.

"What?"

"Aren't you at least a BIT turned on?!" Ami shrieked in frustration, hand flying to his crotch, earning an immediate yelp of anger and Hiroki sitting up. But she had learned what she needed, that No, Kamijou Hiroki was not in the least bit turned on by her practically striptease.

Loud guffawing ensued from the doorway.

"Gods Ami, you're pathetic!" Hide laughed, stalking in wearing clothes much like Hiroki's own with a few purposeful mistakes. Hide's long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, while Hiroki's was left, slightly damp, to fall over his eyes. The blond wore snug jeans, thumbs strung through the belt loops, and the brunet wore black pajama pant that hung low on his hips. "Seduction Plan Failed!"

"Seduction plan?" Hiroki scowled. "What the hell?"

Hide only grinned and answered matter-of-factly. "We were having a contest. Who can seduce you first wins well, you."

"Win me…? Wait, why?!" He was really starting to get frustrated with this. "Why the hell were you having a contest?!"

"Well, you, Hiroki, being so dense in love and all," the blond shrugged. "You never would've been able to be told how much either of us loved you unless we told you outright. So well, yeah."

Hide wasted no time in crossing the room while Hiroki mulled over the words. It took him more time than actually necessary, seeing the blond had spoken true about his denseness in love. But when he figured it all out, he at least had the courtesy to flush bright red.

"Wai- wha- I- I do-" he sputtered, right before Hide closed the distant between their lips. Hiroki found himself captivated by the way his friend's lips moved so… so _seamlessly_ against his own, and soon realized that he was kissing back.

That knowledge itself was enough to send him backpedaling into the wall, panting as if he just ran a marathon.

Ami had a scathing look on her face. "Wait a moment! You knew this, Hide! You knew he wasn't straight!" She snarled and slapped her brother, stalking out of the room with a great huff.

"Wasn't straight-… I-…" the brunet stammered, not sure exactly what to make of this stupid bet. "What does she mean?!"

Hide only shrugged nonchalantly, proceeding to add fuel to the fire called Hiroki. "Well, I knew I was going to win, seeing how much you obviously are in love with me."

"I-WHAT?! I AM NOT-"

"I know I know…" he breezed, twirling a long strand of hair around his index finger. "Just kidding… Take a joke, why don't you? Instead of being so serious all the time, I mean."

"OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH!" And truly it was. To Hiroki at the very least. He had enough of his friend's endless teasing. "Just stop joking around…"

With that he turned to go, only to find himself to be tackled to the floor _again_. He roared in fury, not even caring about whether or not his retaliation is "instinct" or not this time. But, to his surprise, his punch was parried expertly with a larger fist enclosing his in them.

"Hide…" he growled, glowering as darkly as possible at his friend, who – to his surprise – had a serious expression on. "Let me go _this instant_ or I'll–"

"No." Shock wiped away all traces of anger when Hide pushed him down and straddled him, much like the blond's sister had done just moments ago. Hiroki could only stare in shock at his 'friend' as Hide leaned closer… and closer… and closer…

--

_Ami: That's it._

_ Karen: …Wat?_

_ Ami: That's it._

_ Karen: …Ur not continuing._

_ Ami: Noes._

_ Karen: …Y no?_

_ Ami: 'Cause I don't feel like it?_

_ Karen: …I h8 u, u no that?_

_ Ami: Luv u 2, darlin'._

_ Karen: Ugh… Wait a sec. This is all fake, rite?_

_ Ami: Noooo. I no all about Hiroki-sensei's childhood._

_ Karen: STFU. Just making sure, y'know?_

_ Ami: No, I don't._

_ Karen: Shut up! Get back to class!_

--

"Can you get the door, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki looked up from his laptop, glaring death at the door, as if it was its fault the writing of his paper was going to be delayed for a bit. He slid off the (comfortable) couch and stalked over to the door, one hand in his pocket. Just as he attempted to turn the lock, the stupid mechanism suddenly decided it had a vendetta against him. As he scowled and pursued to pull aggressively at the lock, the knocking on the other side continued, and Nowaki called for him again.

"I got this!" Hiroki yelled, more to himself than to answer Nowaki. Finally, after almost pulling the goddamn thing off, the lock gave, and the door swung over to reveal…

"Yo, Hiroki! How have you been?"

"Eh...? Hide?"

* * *

**A/N: Hahah~~!!**

**xDD**

**Sorry. Imagining Hiroki's face at that last moment was priceless~~~**

**So.....**

**Review? Give me a prompt? Something you'd like to see?**

**...Lemon?  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: ...I am no good at action sequences.**

**'Kay. If any of you readers out there are fans of Death Note and Tierfal, you'll know where this came from.**

**^-^**

**As promised, this chappy~~**

**For ForeverBlue90, 'cause Hiroki and Miyagi talked in this chapter~~ :P  
**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

_ Mai: Do u remember the day Kamijou-sensei made that three-pointer?_

_ Kira: Yes, y, & I h8 ur txtin fone._

_ Mai: And I hate your short hands. Well, remember how surprised you were?_

_ Kira: Remembr how srprised u were?_

_ Mai: Touché. You see though today, he did something even more amazing._

_ Kira: ?_

_ Mai: Did you hear about that rogue robber dude running from the police that ran into his classroom during my class?_

_ Kira: …Te FCK??_

_ Mai: Apparently not. Well, it all began with a couple of boys pushing around…_

--

"Oi! You boys!" Hiroki yelled out, irritated, sliding his glasses into his pocket. "Stop messing around!"

"Hear that?" one of the students taunted, shoving his friend back one last time. The one who was shoved grunted and fell back, hitting the window, though with a grin. "Devil-Kamijou told you to stop messin' 'round."

With a quite growl, Hiroki stalked over to the two. "Didn't you hear me?! I said, stop messing around!" Then, directing his yell at the crowd that had gathered, he snapped, "Break it up, people! There's nothing to see!"

Hiroki then turned with a grumble to shut the window, which had inevitably swung open when the student fell against it, when, well, the pane of glass suddenly swung even further out of his reach.

"The hell–" The assistant professor didn't even get to finish his (quite questionable) sentence before a large, sweaty hand clamped over it, pushing him back. Through wide opened eyes, Hiroki watched, stunned, as a large burly man flipped into the class via window. He felt his back hit a table as the man drew close to him, holding a – was that a gun?! – to his forehead.

"Nobody scream!" he yelled, making Hiroki roll his eyes, despite the coldness of the quite lethal weapon against his skin. Somebody screamed anyways, and by the sound of the footsteps (Hiroki wasn't exactly in a great visual vantage point), made a run for the door. "Nobody move!" the man screeched this time, voice incredibly high-pitched for someone so buff-looking. "Or he dies!"

Now, Hiroki half-expected a stampede at this order, since nobody could really possibly care less about his life and death. But to his surprise, a suffocating silence fell over the room as the man cracked a triumphant grin. "That's it," he whispered, hauling Hiroki onto his feet so they stood in a typical holding-hostage position. "Now move so I can get out of here."

Half of Hiroki wanted to grumble, "So why the hell did you come in here anyways?", considering his mouth was completely freed. But the other half that might've worried about his students' safety just a tiny bit stopped him from the scathing remark as the man – now kidnapper, he supposed – marched him to the door. Then, of course, _he _had to intrude.

"Hey, Kamijou, is there something wrong? I heard scream– Whoa there!" Miyagi immediately took a step back upon spotting the gun held to his assistant's temple. "What the heck?"

"Get out of my way!" the man hissed, tightening his grip on Hiroki's shoulder, making him wince just that little bit. Perceptive as he is, Miyagi caught the expression, and instantly followed the order, arm out to hold back the students he knew had followed him. "EVERYONE GET OUT OF MY WAY!" the man roared.

"We're out of the way," Miyagi soothed, eyes trained on the gun. "Just put the gun down and let him go."

"Do you know who he is?"

There was an epic silence following Hiroki's question as Miyagi – no, _everyone_ really – just blinked in shock. The professor snapped out of it first.

"Oh. Um, yeah. There was just a newsflash, saying an escaped convict has well, escaped," he explained.

"SHUT UP!" the convict yelled, finally snapping the last of whatever restraint Hiroki had in the first place.

"No _you_ shut up!" he yelled back to the bewildered convict. "Jesus Christ! You know how much my ear hurts?!"

"Sh-shut up or I'll kill you!" the convict yelped, voice suddenly up another octave. He wasn't used to his hostages yelling back at him like that. This one scared him. Despite the brunet's slightly scrawny appearance, his eyes were glaring daggers at him, not fearing his possibly imminent death. So, the man repeated his order for good measure, "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

Then of course the police come bursting in.

"Put the innocent man down," the man with the megaphone at the front of the gun-armed line announced (was all of this really necessary? His eardrums were probably bleeding as it is). "We have you surrounded. Drop the weapon, and leave the hostage."

"What part of me says helpless victim?" Hiroki muttered to a suddenly closer Miyagi as the sudden intrusion of the police crowded the hallway even more. "I could get a new cologne, you know."

"Kamijou…" Miyagi laughed awkwardly. "I really don't think it's the time to be smart-mouthing right now. In case you haven't noticed, you have a gun trained on your head."

"I've noticed," Hiroki informed him quite calmly, leaving the professor to feel more incredulous as ever. "It's really quite annoying, actually."

And it was. After all the yelling and the cold steel pressing into his head, Hiroki could feel a headache coming on. With a sigh, he made to reach up to massage his head when the convict started _yelling_ again.

"STOP MOVING!" he screeched. "PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!"

"SHUT UP!" Hiroki roared, losing it, whatever it may be. All he knew was that 'it' was whatever kept him from shoving the convict out the window when he could, and now, he had just lost 'it'. He jabbed his elbow sharply back, right into the man's solar plexus (Miyagi winced. That's gotta hurt). The breath knocked out of him, the convict's hand came away at the back of the brunet's collar, and Hiroki used this chance to duck below the gun's range of fire. He shot his right hand up, catching the convict's gun hand and, using his shoulder as a fulcrum, flipped the man on his back. Of course, the man's bulk had kept him from being fully knocked out by Hiroki's maneuver (he had expected as much, truth to be told), so for good measure, the assistant professor jabbed his thumb into the cluster of nerves in the convict's neck, successfully knocking him out. With a huff, Hiroki stood, straightening his tie. "Christ he annoys me…!"

Then, completely disregarding the wide-eyed stares of everyone who had just witnessed another level of the Devil-Kamijou, Hiroki made his way towards the teacher's lounge, muttering something about "the idiots in the world" and "asprin".

--

_Kira: Omg._

_Mai: Ya think?_

_Kira: How the fck does he do that??_

_Mai: I know. It's like he always has something up his sleeve._

_Kira: He's incrdble._

_Mai: My matchmaker's senses are tingling. Do I smell a crush?_

_Kira: Speakin of crush. Have u heard SG's new album?_

_Mai: Stop changing the subject!_

* * *

**A/N: So, does anyone know about Selena Gomez's new album? She has a song called Crush. Not my favorite, but it's good.**

**...Speaking of which...**

**Is it just me, or does someone else think that Hiroki singing would be incredibly sexy?**

**0.o**

**Just saying...**

**xDD**

**And I'll get around to that lemon many people (coughtwocough) requested.**

**Any particular couples, tho?**

**Last Note: I ABSOLUTELY HATE WRITING SHORT HAND. EVEN WHEN I'M ACTUALLY TEXTING I NEVER USE SHORT HAND.**

**^-^**

**For the record~~**

**Review~~!!!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: 0.0**

**Omigod...**

**Could this be true...?**

**My... third update on the same day...?**

**0.0**

**HOLY GUACAMOLE**

**!**

**xD**

**LOLZ~~ This idea's been playing in my head when I was waiting for the orthodontist to adjust my braces.**

**Dunno why, it came to me when I was watching a Korean market's flashing neon signs.**

**^-^**

**This chapter's to celebrate me getting into SOTA!! Hallelujah~!!  
**

* * *

It wasn't as if Shinobu did it on purpose.

Really, he did remember Miyagi's phone number. By heart. He'd swear to anything and everything if he has to. He just… forgot it for a moment, that's all. Forgotten the number he had remembered at first glance in his fit of fury. Of course. That's why.

This line of thinking was proven dangerous as Shinobu was reminded as to why he was looking for his lover's number, anyways. It was all Miyagi's fault, as per usual. The stupid professor just couldn't stay… _faithful_.

With a groan, he dropped his phone onto the tabletop, progressively gloomy. That's it. He officially hates his moral conscience. The stupid thing wouldn't let him stay angry at Miyagi, because there was that minuscule chance that the professor _wasn't_ guilty, which would make him rather… _bratty_ to be mad at him.

"Why so down, Takatsuki?" Shinobu looked up at his friend, Jin, and slammed his forehead back onto the tabletop. "What, girlfriend broke up with you?"

In a flash, Shinobu was up, glaring death at the suddenly-fearful brunet. "No," he hissed. "I did _not_."

"Dude… Chill a bit," Jin suggested, backing away slightly. "But seriously though. What's wrong? You're gloomier than usual."

"Nothing," Shinobu muttered, reapplying his forehead to the wood. But Jin wouldn't give up.

"C'mon. You look almost as scary as that Devil-Kamijou from the other school!" he joked, inevitably hitting a nerve and reminding Shinobu exactly why he was so troubled and pissed. This is why he didn't make a lot of friends, dammit!

"Kagayama…" he growled, looking more like 'that Devil-Kamijou from the other school' every passing moment. "Don't you dare mention his name in front of me…!"

"Alright, alright!" Jin yelped, backing off for real now, hesitantly taking the seat next to his 'friend' "Just… I dunno. Chill–"

His advice was cut off by a sudden beep from his pocket. With great flourish, Jin pulled out his new touch screen phone. "Ah. Speaking of M University… It's my friend from there."

Shinobu jumped at the chance. "What's his major??"

Jin threw him a strange look, but answered anyways. "Literature…"

"Who does he have?"

"Uh, hang on a sec…" After what seemed like forever to Shinobu, the phone beeped in reply. "Ah. Someone called Miyagi…?"

Shinobu's eyes widened. This was fate. This was God's dictation that he was supposed to know Miyagi's phone number. Wordlessly, he snatched the phone from Jin.

_Jin: Do you know his phone number?_

_Hotaka: Wtf? U stalker._

_Jin: JUST TELL ME HIS GODDAMN PHONE NUMBER!_

_Hotaka: I dunno his fone #!_

_Jin: Is there someone who does?!?!_

_Hotaka: Eesh. Hang on a sec._

A couple of minutes passed as Shinobu waited for the reply impatiently, Jin hovering behind him, too scared of his friend's current mood to take back the phone.

_Hotaka: No. No1 noes his #. Some1 does no Kamijou's tho. That's the assistant professor._

_Jin: Why the hell would I want his phone number?_

_Hotaka: Just thought I'd give it a try._

About to chuck the phone across the room in frustration, Shinobu suddenly got an idea.

_Jin: Wait a sec. Give me his number._

_Hotaka: Kamijou?_

_Jin: Nooo. Santa Clause. YES KAMIJOU!_

_Hotaka: Alrite. Eesh. It's xxx-xxxx._

_Jin: …_

Smirking, Shinobu picked up his phone (his own, this time) and quickly pressed the buttons that would dial the number. He slid the fancy touch-screen phone across the table at Jin, who just barely caught it. "Thanks," he muttered off-handedly as he glanced at the clock. Ten fifteen. There was still a good fifteen minutes before the lecture starts. No problem. He stood up and stepped out of the classroom, deciding to head towards the bathroom, since everyone would be hanging around in class right about now. Once he was safely behind a closed door, he pressed call.

--

"God dammit – Nowaki–!"

Hiroki could only bite harder on his knuckles to keep from crying out at his boyfriend's ministrations, consequently drawing blood. Nowaki, previously smug at his ah, _abilities_, frowned at the red liquid trailing down the pale skin. Softly, he pulled away from planting soft kisses down Hiroki's front and leaned for his mouth, slowly easing the abused hand out. When Nowaki darted his tongue out, he could taste coffee, blood, and that maple sugar taste his lover always seem to have, and he smiled softly into the kiss. His eyes watched his Hiro-san's shut ones, clenched tightly, easing, then clenching again, hovering between 'pain' and 'ecstasy'.

"You're so cute, Hiro-san…" the trainee doctor whispered, ghosting his fingertips down his lover's sides, kissing away Hiroki's rebuke and feeling tremors run through the beautifully sensitized skin of the assistant professor. His hands headed south, unfastening the pair of god forsaken pants, dancing teasingly around the part that begged for his touch the most. Hiroki moaned into the kiss, hands scrambling for a sure hold as they grasped onto Nowaki's shirt.

"Nowaki–!" he gasped, arching into his dark-haired lover's touch. "Please–!"

"Please what, Hiro-san?" Nowaki murmured sanguinely into the oh-so-familiar neck, lips still kissing, hands still hovering.

"Please–! Nowa– ki!" Hiroki all but cried, arms and legs shaking with the effort of holding himself upright.

"Tell me what you want, Hiro-san…" Hiroki could've came just by that powerful, lusty look Nowaki was giving him. "Tell me what you want, and I'll grant it…"

"Nowa–!"

Then the brunet really _did_ cry, a stray tear trickling down the side of his face. At the sight of it, Nowaki's good mood from earlier all disappeared with guilt. He didn't really meant for this to happen, just like that bloody hand that was dripping stains down the back of his shirt. Well, he supposed this was karma, and proceeded to answer his lover's unspoken wish.

Well, he tried. Then the goddamn phone rang.

Yanking his mind back from the throes of pleasure, Hiroki scrambled past his boyfriend for his cell, while said boyfriend proceeded to glower darkly at said contraption, wondering why he ever got it for his Hiro-san.

Hiroki took a deep breath before answering, attempting for the slightest semblance of normal. "Hello?"

"_Do you know that School Sex video online?_"

It took a second for Hiroki to put the question into his mind, and even then, he didn't understand it.

"…What?" he summarized his jumbled thoughts elegantly, clearing his throat to the side while attempting to rebutton his shirt, much to the pouting Nowaki's chagrin. "Who are you?"

"_You obviously haven't seen it,_" the voice on the other end muttered bitterly. There was something extremely familiar about that voice, and if Hiroki could just put his finger on it… "_Fine. Let me ask you this. Did you, or did you not, have sex with somebody in a classroom near a window on Wednesday?_"

This particular accusation took more than a couple of seconds for Hiroki to process, and when he finally did, it was all he could do to sputter into the phone, "Wha- Wait a minute–! Ho-how did you–?!"

This seemed to be all the answer the person on the other side needed, for his side of the conversation was suddenly overtaken by a droning beep. Another few seconds passed as Hiroki slowly lowered the phone, and turned around to stare at Nowaki.

"…Hiro-san?"

That seemed to snap the assistant professor out of his stupor. With a growl that wasn't as intimidating as it should've been (because A, he was blushing, and B, this was directed towards his lover, who was, as a result of living together for seven years, completely immune to the Glare of Death), Hiroki ran for his laptop, all the desperate lust and want from before the phone call completely gone. If he was right, there was that… that chain mail that was forwarded to him… that he had deleted– Found it! With agility enough to make a computer nerd jealous, the brunet clicked on the link, and proceeded to watch the video with increasing mortification.

"…What's wrong, Hiro-san?" Nowaki ventured at his lover's flabbergasted face (which was incredibly cute also, he duly noticed). When Hiroki didn't answer, the trainee doctor walked to his side with a frown, turning his attention to the computer screen.

…Which seemed to be broadcasting porn?

Upon further investigation, Nowaki knew that this was filmed from across the street with a camera directed at, well, the window he had just been kissing his lover against. Of course, following that revelation was an avalanche, upon which, Nowaki could only turned to his livid lover with an apologetic expression.

"…Oops?"

"…_Oops_?" Hiroki thundered, voice threateningly low. "Is that all you can _say_?! I told you it was dangerous to- to do it in here!"

"I know…" Nowaki attempted meekly, backing away from the Hiroki that suddenly seemed way too tall. "I'm sorry, Hiro-san. I am very, _very_ sorry."

"And now they've got it on the internet!" Hiroki yelped, panic obvious in his eyes. He had completely ignored everything Nowaki said. "What am I- what am I supposed to do?!?"

Then, of course, the intercom chooses that moment to announce its omnipotent presence within the school.

_"Kamijou Hiroki-sensei. Kamijou Hiroki-sensei. Please report to the office. Repeat, Kamijou Hiroki-sensei, please report to the office immediately."_

--

He knew it. He just knew it. Stupid Miyagi. Stupid Kamijou. Stupid love thing. Stupid unfaithfulness.

Before Shinobu could sink further into his depression, a large, familiar hand caught his shoulder.

"Shinobu-chin!"

The university student wheeled around, ready to give Miyagi a yelling of a lifetime, when he noticed the breathless state his lover was in. And plus, wasn't the professor supposed to be… _professing_ right now? What was he doing here?

"I need… to talk… to you…" the professor wheezed, using Shinobu as a support as he tried to catch his breath. Thin-lipped, Shinobu nodded once. Miyagi seemed to sense his hostility, and cringed accordingly. "The video… It's a huge misunderstanding… Honestly… Swear to God…"

Shinobu blinked in surprise. He was so sure Miyagi was going to confess about his affair with that assistant professor and break it up with him, and was about to beat him to the punch right after his confession. But this… this he didn't expect.

"How did you know I was worried about the video?" To his displeasure, his voice had sounded more incredulous than grumpy, and seemed to give Miyagi hope.

"The moment I saw it I knew you'd be worried," he explained matter-of-factly, catching Shinobu completely by surprise again, making him flush a bright red. "So I came running down here to tell you it's nothing to worry about."

"What is it then?" the student murmured, partly embarrassed about how predictable he was, but mostly pleased that his lover was thinking about him when he watched the video. "It's obvious that Kamijou guy was there. Who was the other one?"

"Uh… his lover came to… visit." Before Shinobu could fix him with a skeptical look, Miyagi ruffled his hair and planted a kiss right on his forehead, encouraging the previously-fading blush to come back and spread further down south. With a wink, Miyagi straightened and turned to go. "Karen gave me takeout tonight. Dinner at my place?"

"O-okay…" Shinobu whispered, watching his lover jog away, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

…Wait a minute. Who was…?!

"MIYAGI!!!!!!"

* * *

**A/N: ...Did the thing between Hiroki and Nowaki count as lemon?**

**:P**

**Well, it was attempted (and failed) lime, at least.**

**I managed to shove that in.**

**If anyone knows of a plot bunny up for adoption, lemme know~!**

**Review, please~!**

**xD**

**They encourage me to write~~~  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm disappointed with the blatant lack of smut in this chapter.**

**See, I always get sooooo close...!!**

**=.=**

**Then the prOn bunny hops away...**

**This idea I got from the kink meme (which I recently discovered)!!!!**

**x3**

**So this could be considered a fill, I s'ppose~~~?**

**And uh, forgive my stealing of Furuba trio's names, but my originality wasn't intact, so... **

**Yah.  
**

* * *

_Shigure: D'you know where to get Viagra?_

_Hatori: …_

_Shigure: Is that a yes?_

_Hatori: …Why are you asking me?_

_Shigure: Because it seems like you would know._

_Hatori: And how would I know, exactly?_

_Shigure: Weeeell… You're so damn asexual that I figured, well…_

_Hatori: Stfu. And why do you need them in the first place? Girlfriend not satisfying enough for you?_

_Shigure: Actually, we broke up a couple of weeks ago._

_Hatori: Oh, excuse me. Did I say girlfriend? I mean the couple of toys that you play with on your whims._

_Shigure: Ouch. Fine, be that way. Don't tell me._

_Hatori: I wouldn't know where to get Viagra!_

_Shigure: Huff. Stupid Hatori. Don't know anything._

_Hatori: …Says the one asking in the first place._

_Shigure: Touché. Fine. I'll go ask my dear beloved best friend that's NOT you._

_Hatori: Good._

--

_Shigure: Know where to get Viagra?_

_Ayame: My back pocket?_

_Shigure: Alright! Give me one or two?_

_Ayame: Or the whole bottle._

_Shigure: Cool! Seeya in da Devil's class, alright?_

_Ayame: Answer me a question first._

_Shigure: Yah?_

_Ayame: Does this have anything to do with that stupid bet you have with the orange kid?_

_Shigure: Maybe. Seeya~!_

--

Today was the day, Shigure thought smugly, leaning back on his seat. He felt the back of his chair hit the table behind him, and the guy sitting there (Takahashi, was it?) muttered a weak protest under his breath. But he didn't care. Today was the day he'd finally prove to that idiot cousin of his (stupid T University attendant, totally bought his way in) that he was absolutely irresistible; to every girl and every guy.

_And every professor,_ stupid-cousin-number-three had dared him.

The Viagra? Well, it wasn't as if the dark-haired teen wasn't completely sure of himself and his charms (because he absolutely was). The pills were just… reassurance. Yeah, that's it. Just-in-case backups. Of course, who could blame him for using them? After all, his subject in question was the famed Devil Kamijou (Prof. Miyagi just wasn't really his style, while the brunet was actually hot when he wasn't furiously ranting or throwing chalk at somebody), and as easily as Shigure could get it up (a wind blows and you'd get wood, a friend once claimed as a surprisingly accurate joke), he just wasn't sure about the other side.

No, that's not it. He was completely sure. He could not let himself be unsure. He needed to win this bet, and prove his masculinity to stupid cousin (however seducing your Japanese Lit professor will prove anyone's masculinity).

Right, onwards to his plan. He figured the aphrodisiac needed some time to kick in, and so he had previously grounded it up, and had it wrapped in a little paper envelope. He had planned to dump it surreptitiously into the professor's cup as he entered the classroom, thus having the time of the whole lesson to let the pill's effects kick in.

So… what was the envelope doing in his pocket?

With a jump, he pulled out the folded white paper, opened it, and stared at the contents in shock (in fact, just having content in there was shocking enough). Dammit! His plan! Foiled! Stupid girls and their flirting ways! He groaned out loud, stuffing the envelope back into his pocket. This wasn't good. This really wasn't good. Today was just about the last day he would get to do this before meeting his cousin, and God forbid he'll have something on him!

Shigure was snapped out of his bitter inner monologue by a chalk dealt cleanly to the center of his forehead (at least it wasn't his mouth, like last time). He winced, and stared in shock at the scowling professor at the front of the room.

"Pay attention!" Kamijou barked, fingering another piece of chalk threateningly. "Use those brains you good-for-nothings were born with for once!"

"Of course, sensei," Shigure complied, bowing his head to hide a scowl. Of all the times he had to be reminded of the professor's presence… "I apologize."

"You better!" Kamijou replied, sending a warning glare around the room before turning back to his lesson on ancient proverbs nobody's ever heard of. Shigure only risked a glance up once the assistant professor's back was turned, and sighed mutedly in grievance. Subconsciously, the teen let his eyes sweep up and down Kamijou's body, realizing that, other than having a rather handsome face, his figure was quite nice too. Though the white button-up and trousers didn't do much to show off the brunet's form (unlike Shigure's own skin-tight tank top and skinny jeans), it was apparent that Kamijou's lithe build was the perfect balance between skinny and masculine; somehow still having muscles beneath the wiry frame. Shigure had always prided himself in being able to see the beauty in both sexes, he now quite regret his ability, willing to give it up to will away the building tension in his pants (he had never really expected to be turned on _this_ much by the assistant professor). Dammit all. Okay, calm down. Just breathe. It didn't matter. It was the simple matter of willing his erection away. It's nothing hard. Just stop thinking about how great it would feel to have those pale, slim hands (with great aim, he might add) caress his body, to have that mouth engulf him in warmth…

Half an agonizing hour later, when the bell finally ran, he was so hard it was _painful_.

"Your essays are due next class," Kamijou announced, sitting down and taking a drink of coffee (that should've been laced with Viagra, had Shigure followed the stupid plan). "Anyone that doesn't hand one in receives a final F on evaluations and forfeits their right to take the final exams."

"That's the devil alright…" Ayame muttered, signaling towards his friend, who was – strangely – still seated. "Oi, Shigure! Let's go!"

"Oh, he can't," Hatori lilted from the side, calmly gathering his books with a smirk dancing on his lips. He just walked over to Ayame at Shigure's half-hearted glare. "Oh please. Don't tell me you didn't see him so blatantly checking the professor out."

"Shut up…" the dark-haired teen whispered meekly, slamming his head against the table. "This is stupid. So very stupid."

"Yes, yes you are," Hatori almost-laughed. Ayame, however, was looking on the aforementioned assistant professor with a glint in his eyes. Upon catching the look, Hatori groaned, taking Ayame by the ear and dragging him out of the room without so much as a backwards glance.

"Some friend he is…" Shigure murmured, hand unconsciously playing over the spot on the table where he had put the envelope of powdered Viagra, but to find nothing in the empty space. He looked up just in time to see Ayame throw a wink at him, dumping the… empty paper into the trashcan. Shigure turned his wide-eyed stare to watch Kamijou turn from wiping the blackboard to take a sip of his (now truly aphrodisiac-laced) coffee. The teen looked back at the door with a grateful look in tearful eyes (his damn erection!). "Thank you…!"

--

"Aren't you even gonna ask what that was?" Ayame asked with a pout as the two friends walked out of the school.

"Viagra, right?" Hatori said calmly, cutting across his friend's exclamation of surprise. "The fool actually had the _gall_ to ask me where to buy it."

"Well, aren't you gonna ask why I put it in the professor's coffee?" the teen persisted, refusing to lose the battle. Hatori just turned to him with a deadpan stare.

"It's his stupid bet with Kyo. I know."

With that, Hatori stepped onto his bike (when had they arrived at the bike rack?) in a fluid motion, and was gone before Ayame could blink.

"Ah…" Ayame sighed, undoing the lock on his own bike. "There's no point in keeping secrets from Hatori anymore, is there?"

--

It hadn't been a particularly good day, considering all Mondays. Being the start of the week, the students were all lazy and lethargic, some (Akihiko's boy toy, the idiot) even daring to sleep _twice_ on his watch. Of course, Hiroki hadn't been in the best of spirits either, and had used up the new box of chalk he had gotten just this morning from the storage room, plus a couple of blackboard erasers. With a sigh, the brunet really just wished he could go back to the prep room and rest. With the new goal in mind, he downed the rest of his cooling coffee (that tasted kind of strange, to his chagrin) and with one last sweep of the classroom to make sure it was empty, made to exit the room.

Except well, there was a figure somewhere in the back.

Recognizing the teen (one of the couple of Sohmas in his class), Hiroki called (much more gruffer than he should, but who honestly cares?) out, "Hey, Sohma! School ended! Get out of here!"

Upon realizing that the boy was hunched over on the table, alarm bells set themselves to a steady ring in Hiroki's mind. Putting his papers and books onto the table, he rushed up to the teen's side.

"He, Sohma?" he urged, hand gently resting on the boy's back, feeling the skin shiver beneath it. "Are you alright?"

"I'm… fine…" the boy gasped, curling in more on himself, attempting to dislodge the assistant professor's hand from his back. "Just… Please… go…."

"Hang on," Hiroki muttered, rubbing his hand in comforting circles on the sweaty back. "I'll go get help. Don't–"

"No!" the teen suddenly yelled as Hiroki attempted to run out to the infirmary. He had a hand clutched tightly onto the brunet's elbow. "Don't go!"

"Alright," Hiroki soothed cautiously, slowly stepping back to his side, leaning down so he was level with the Sohma's face. He could now clearly see the boy's eyes were scrunched tightly shut with pain, and his teeth gritting against each other as he fought back a whimper. Hiroki placed his free hand on the teen's forehead, feeling for any sign of fever, only to watch him seize up tightly. "Hey, hey! Relax! I'm trying to help you! Just checking to see if you're sick or not. Doesn't seem–"

Then, his crooked view of the world was suddenly turned upside down. Literally.

The Sohma kid had somehow managed to grab both his wrists simultaneously and flip their positions, so it was Shigure's flushed face that looked down at Hiroki's shocked one. Call it intuition (that belonged solely to Hiroki, seeing the many times he had been in his position before), or maybe just the lusty gaze that was raking up and down his body, or simply just the prominent hardness pushing against his inner thigh, but the assistant professor instantly new what his student wanted.

"Do you want to help me, professor?" Shigure panted, rubbing his crotch against Hiroki's leg. "Then help me."

"What do you think you're–"

"You know you want to…" the teen murmured huskily, leaning his face down, his mouth opened, to capture Hiroki's mouth in his own.

Or well, that's what he tried to do.

Hiroki knew the reason for his sudden anger was the Sohma's words. It somehow felt demeaning towards him, somehow hinted at his bottoming position. With a glare, he pushed the teen and himself upright. Glowering darkly, he said clearly, "Go take care of yourself in the bathroom, Sohma. Don't you dare soil the classroom with… impure substances."

Somehow, Shigure looked shocked. "But– Professor! That's… that's impossible!"

"What, can't even satisfy yourself now?" Hiroki spat in disgust. "Kids these days…"

"No! That's not it!" Shigure protested, rushing down the steps to catch up with the assistant professor. "I- I-"

"Haven't you embarrassed yourself enough already, Sohma?!" Hiroki yelped as he turned, finally losing it. "Get out of here while you still have that shred of dignity intact!"

With a flushed face that had nothing to do with his rapidly-disappearing erection (having your object of fancy crushing your manly pride with only words tends to have that effect on people, or so he heard), Shigure quickly ran out of the classroom, shutting the door behind him with a bam.

With an aggravated sigh, Hiroki leaned against his table, sifting his fingers through his already-mussed fringes. Suddenly, he remembered that idiot student's heat rubbing against him, and blushed a dark red in response to the sudden rush of blood to his groin. Oh my God, what was happening to him?! When had he sunk so low as to be turned on by a rape attempt from a fellow student?! A male one, no less!

With a trembling hand so many had fantasized about, Hiroki reached for the zipper of his pants, pulling it down achingly slow, not sure if he was taking the right course of action. On one hand, he couldn't possibly walk out with a tent in his pants. On the other, this seemed like blatant unfaithfulness to his lover. But when lust takes over, it leaves no room for thoughts in anyone's mind, and soon, the brunet was jacking away long his length like there was no tomorrow. His eyes were clenched shut with the pleasure of the self-stimulation and the pain of not-releasing. His jaws were likewise gritted as moans threatened to break out.

So, of course, he missed the telltale steps outside of the classroom and the non-discreet opening of the door. His only clue of someone else's presence within the room was the loud greeting of, "Hey! Kamijou! What's taking you – Oh…!"

A moment of silence passed as both literature professors stared at each other. The tension in the air could've been cut by a knife, until…

"Uh… Want me to… help you with that?"

* * *

**A/N: Ugh...**

**Unsatisfactory ending, much?**

**+_+**

**Well, review~~~~!!!!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Damn, I think I reached a new low with this one...**

**...No pairings, just plain crack.**

**...ish.**

**0.0**

**Please? I'm begging you to read?  
**

* * *

_ Mikoto: I hate her. I HATE HER!_

_ Ai: Who now?_

_ Mikoto: That arrogant SOB Mai!_

_ Ai: Sena Mai? Why?_

_ Mikoto: It's not just me. The whole class hates her too._

_ Ai: Who's class?? Tell me already!_

_ Mikoto: All of Kamijou's class today!_

_ Ai: Why? What did she do this time?_

_ Mikoto: Thought she would get all smart, god dammit! Landed us a thousand word essay by tomorrow!_

_ Ai: Ouch. What happened?_

_ Mikoto: See, she…_

--

"Synonyms?"

"Yeah," the student – Sena, was it? – confirmed, sitting forward more in her seat. "Home entails a safe place where one can go back to, while refuge is like a sanctuary, where you can be safe. So, if looking at it that way, the two would be synonyms, right? So I don't really understand the author's distinction between the two in the chapter."

Hiroki didn't really have to think about this. He just looked out the window for a dramatic second pause. "It's a matter of connotation. To the author – rather, to the _character_ – home is a place he could trust, whereas refuge is more publicized, and, like he says in the third paragraph, _can never be trusted as to whether or not crows hid in the shadows, or rats behind the walls_."

At Sena's crestfallen expression, Hiroki knew that this was another student trying to sound smart (lost a bet, probably) in front of him, to embarrass him to a certain extent while acknowledging her. Hm. Who did these students think they are?

"I-I'm afraid I still don't quite understand, professor," the girl sniffed, to protect the last ounce of her pride. Of course, Hiroki, being Hiroki, wanted to shatter that into beyond reparable, microscopic pieces. "Could you please explain more?"

"What you suggested are the denotations of home and refuge," Hiroki continued, growling inwardly at the utterly clueless expression on Sena's face (he just knew she had absolutely no idea what _denotation_ meant). "The author's taking the words and their meanings to his own context, turning them into what it means by itself. For example, if I say to the class, right now, ice cream, you all would picture different kinds and different flavors, with of course, different shapes. That's because of how you were taught as children, and your impressions of the word are different than others. Likewise, if I said family, I'm sure everybody would have a different image in their minds. Now, if I ask everybody what a circle is, everyone would no doubt think of this." He picked up a piece of chalk and drew a perfect circle on the board. "Do you see the difference now?"

At the abrupt question, Sena, who had been tuning out, blinked and stammered, "Uh… I… Kind of… Not really…?"

Hiroki offered a rare grin. It was his 'I-got-you-now-and-you-have-no-chance' grin that sent shivers up everybody's spine. Sena instantly became the most hated person in the class.

"Then allow me to continue. The character's connotation of a home is a place with people he could trust. Other people's connotations might mean different things. A home might be a place that opens its doors to you. A home might be somewhere that offers you shelter and food and your necessities for life. A home might be where you are attached to the most. They all essentially come back to the same thing, but its implications are different in the minds of different people. Likewise with refuge. While a home might be somewhere that opens its doors to you, a refuge could be the other place that offers you food. If a home's necessities – to the person connoting it – are to provide food and shelter, then a refuge would be somewhere that offers you safety. Somewhere you are attached to the most would make refuge somewhere that has necessities, but not necessarily attractions for you."

Unfortunate coincidence, Hiroki's mind automatically flashed to a certain best friend of his whose connotations of the words home and refuge would serve as a perfect example. Such a pity he pissed him off so much.

"And a home might be somewhere horrifying, where due dates are coming all the time, and your editor's got your key, while refuge would be the office of where ever your _supposed_ best friend happens to work at the time, without any consideration of whether or not _said_ supposed best friend would get _fired_ at all," he mumbled, gritting his teeth. Just the mere memory of the many jobs he had gotten fired from because of one Usami Akihiko had his hands quivering from anger (justifiably so; after all, it _was_ a pretty big number). And it seemed that his hands weren't_ just_ quivering, either, but clenching tightly on the unfortunate piece of chalk he was holding –_ too_ tightly, apparently, for the chalk suddenly crumbled into pieces out of the blue, the white pieces falling to the ground and a grey mushroom cloud puffing up. Forcing himself to relax, Hiroki released his hand, and the carcass of the writing utensil fell in a pattering shower.

Something about thinking of Akihiko encouraged inner monologues filled with extensive adjectives, apparently. Dammit. His author-ness was rubbing off on the brunet.

The bell chose that moment to ring, and the obligatory scraping of chairs on the floor sounded, before one Hiroki's sweeping glare sent all instinct-driven movements right into reverse, and the classroom was instantly silenced once more.

"Since Sena has brought up such an interesting topic," he said lightly, casually blowing at the tips of his white-coated fingers, watching the fine powder swirl in intricate patterns while dancing in the air (much like whatever's left of Sena's pride was doing by her foot). "I want everybody to write a one thousand word essay on connotations, and the author's usage of it in the chapter. It's due on my desk tomorrow morning, and if it isn't here by the time the bell rings, I'm not taking it." With one last sweeping glare around the room, he finished. "I'll see you all and your essays tomorrow."

* * *

**A/N: 0.0**

**Yeah, I'm disgusted at the home-refuge lecture too...**

**I just... got the idea in my head and it wouldn't get out...!!!!**

**=.=**

**Review, pretty please? Make me feel better, 'cause I'm kinda down right now?  
**


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